The Haiku Method: March 2012

Calm yourself down, sir

I am turning as we speak

There's no need to honk.

About The Haiku Method

The Haiku Method is an ingenius anger management technique I came up with when some jerk parked right up against my bumper and it took me twenty minutes to get my car out of the spot.

I had some stupid other haiku I was mentally composing at the time ("Dear Autocorrect/Why the random capitals?/It makes me look dumb") and I immediately decided to switch gears and write a haiku expressing how this guy who blocked me in was a jackass. So I did:

Guy who parked too close:

Your car's just gonna get bumped

That is what you get

Here's what happened: I felt so much better! I decided to try this tactic on other unfortunate New York driving events throughout the night, and here was my amazing discovery: with every haiku I wrote, my mood got better and better! The more jackassery I encountered, the happier I was making myself with my doofy haikus.

Thus I bring this brilliant anger management technique to the world. It's cutting edge. So many anger management philosophies focus on expressing your anger, or letting go of your anger, or redirecting your anger. Problem: all of those solutions involve anger. The antidote to anger is not anger. It is silliness. This theory is tried and tested in my Toyota Echo.

So, next time you are feeling mad... write a haiku.

The Haiku Method

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Just when you thought it was safe to have a pleasant lunch...

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Courtesy, Professionalism and Blocking Traffic Instead of Pulling Over Like a Normal Person

Friday, March 2, 2012

Many of my friends have more insightful commentary on this issue. I will stick with this.

Ode to Mr ZoomyPants at the Gas Station

To Mr. Jumping the Gun In the Right Turn Lane